I apologize

I apologize to you blog for not being updated in such a long period. It is just the laziness of myself and it reflects how hectic I am recently. Actually, I'm thinking of deactivating this blog and stop writing because I realize that I'm not the type of blogging person and I'm really not into writing.This blog also looks dull because of the physical appearance together with the fact of no interesting entry to be written down here. After all, I start to think that in 10 or 20 years from now, I wanna have something to look at in my young ages. So, my final decision is just let it be as it is without the deactivation.

In this entry, I mentioned about my dream to be selected as the TBP members. Alhamdulillah, one of my dream has become true even though sometimes I feel bad about this thing (the feeling when you are surrounded with great people but you are not the one). The "underdog" title is fine with me.

I miss home. I'm not homesick but since I went back home last summer, I know that the phrase "home is the place where the heart is" will hold true in any condition without any violation and assumption needed. I hate being in place where; when you are hungry, you got nothing to eat or even if you have something to eat, they are just tasteless (I'm the picky one about food since my family's background related to cooking, my grandma run her wedding catering service, my mum is a kindergarten's teacher who cook for her students). Malaysia is just a food's heaven. You can have anything you want when you are hungry. I hate being in place where you wanna travel a lot, but your financial doesn't allow you to do that. I could probably travel to anywhere I want but it is just not a nice thing to travel with the limited financial source. So, the best solution is just wait for my graduation, going back home for good, start working and receiving money, and then go travelling around the world. I've spent almost 2 and half years in US but I've never been to California, Florida or even the New York city. A big L to me.

Anyway, I need some motivation and prayers so that I can go through the rest of the semester patiently. I'm having the hardest time period in my life. Since there is nothing much left for me and the comeback seems impossible, I pray for the miracle to happen so that it would become a victory for me at the end.